Monday, December 14, 2009

I'll Be Home For Christmas

I didn't get to go home to Kentucky for Christmas last year because I had to work. My boss always takes vacation the week of Christmas and that leaves all of us "other employees" short handed and working extra hours so that he can be off. It's not fair, but it's just the way it is, I guess.

I have to work this year too. However, I did manage to get my boss to let me off on the 26th-29th so I AM GOING HOME FOR CHRISTMAS THIS YEAR!! Well, technically, I won't be there on Christmas day, but luckily my mom's side of the family is celebrating Christmas the Sunday AFTER Christmas, so I will be celebrating with my family anyway. I AM STOKED! This actually worked out REALLY well because I don't get my kids until the 26th this year anyway. So I will drive to KY on the 26th, pick up my kiddos and have Christmas with my family all at the same time! How AWESOME is that?! I don't think it could have worked out any better.

Another good thing is that my best friend from high school (who lives in Alabama and who I haven't seen but twice in 7 years) will ALSO be in KY for Christmas so I will get to see her as well!! It's going to be a good holiday for me this year!

What are your plans for the holidays?

Separation Anxiety?

About 3 weeks ago I got a new puppy, a pit bull. I named him Diesel. He is the SWEETEST thing. But ever since he came home he has been attached to my leg, literally! If I walk into the bedroom and stop walking, he will run into the back of my leg. It's THAT BAD!!

I put him in my office one day last week and put up a baby gate so that I could run to town and do some shopping. As soon as the gate went up and I was out of sight he started crying and gnawing on the gate and just sounded like he was about to DIE! I could hear him OUTSIDE the house hollering. I felt bad for leaving him but I had to get some things done. I thought this would all get better the longer he was with us, but it hasn't seemed to get any better. Now, if I am not around, he will go to our dirty clothes basket and drag out a shirt of mine or a pair of pajama pants and drag them to the living room, pull it up on the couch with him and sleep with it! He doesn't ever get Drew's clothes, just mine!

Tonight when I left for work, I forgot to tell him bye. I was in a hurry and just walked out the door. I hadn't gotten a mile down the road when Drew called and told me that Diesel was running around the house like crazy looking for me and had dragged my shoe onto the couch and was laying on it. He said "You forgot to tell him bye and he is upset." :( Yep, I did forget. So Drew put his phone on speakerphone and I told Diesel bye. After that, he calmed down!!

Is this normal?? Do dogs have separation anxiety? I am wondering if this is going to be permanent. I hope not, because I DO have to go places and do things from time to time. I can't have a clingy dog. HA! Have you ever heard of separation anxiety in dogs? If so, let me know! And if you know how I can discourage this behavior, let me know that too. I really don't know what I am going to do with him. *sigh*

Saturday, December 12, 2009

Finally Another Post

Well, I have been informed by a new friend that I haven't posted since August (Eek!) so I decided I better get to writing. Thanks Gabby! I didn't realize it had been so long!! I haven't really been all that busy either. Just working and cleaning house. You know, the every day tasks of adulthood. Not fun!

I guess I never really said what the judge decided on the kids. It wasn't at ALL how I thought it would be! Turns out that because I moved to Arkansas, I took the kids away from their grandparents and that messed with their bond. So the kids live in Kentucky with their father and I get 2 weekends a month, one in KY and one in AR. I will get them every other Thanksgiving and Christmas and 4 weeks in the summer. And I also will get them every other spring break/fall break (alternating). It's not what I had hoped for and it isn't NEARLY enough visitation, but for now I am going to leave it alone. It's not over for good, but I need to get some things in order before I take him back to court.

I did have the kids for Thanksgiving this year and we had a lot of fun while they were here. Drew bought me a Wii for Christmas and we got it out early so the kids would have something to do. We played that thing the whole time they were here!! I uploaded the pictures I took from that week and EVERY picture (except one of me and Zoe) was of the kids playing Wii, in their pajamas, looking like they just got out of bed in every one. HA! I guess when I get them this month I better work on that! I will have to take some good ones. I can't be posting pictures of them with bedhead and mismatched jammies. They will be back on December 26th!! I honestly can't wait to see them again. I miss them SOOO much!!

On another note, is it REALLY only 12 DAYS UNTIL CHRISTMAS?! WOW! This year has really flown by. Alot has happened in my life this year. I guess that's why it has gone by so quickly. I am looking forward to starting a new year though. I have a few things in mind for New Year's Resolutions and I am going to try REALLY hard to stick to them. One of them being my blog. I have really neglected it and I am going to try my best to do better with posting. I read quite a few blogs in which the mom has 3 or 4 kids and still has time to post EVERY DAY. So if they can do it, why can't I? I guess I am just lazy. That's no excuse though. So I really will try to do better on that.

Well, I'm not sure else what to say so I guess I will close this post and go read more mommy blogs. I PROMISE to update again very soon!! But before I go, I will leave you with the ONE good photo I took on Thanksgiving.

Saturday, August 15, 2009

Just An Update

WOW!! Has it really been over a MONTH since my last post?! I can't believe that! There has been so much going on here lately!

First I guess I will start off with the update on custody court. It was on Friday, July 17th. I had my 5 witnesses and my ex had his 3. Both attorneys thought this all could be hashed out in one day, but they were both wrong.

It took MOST of the day (court started at 9 am) just for my ex husband and his 3 witnesses to say all that they had to say, which most of it didn't even make sense, but whatever. I knew he was going to get up on the stand and lie his butt off. That's what he does best! His grandmother is the same way and so is his mother, but that's beside the point. His grandmother testified on his behalf, but really did him more harm than good. He also had our sons 1st grade school teacher to testify too (surprise surprise, she is also related to my ex husband!) and her testimony was also a load of crap.

My attorney FINALLY got her turn to call all of my witnesses and they all did very well!! At around 4 pm, the judge decided that it was definitely going to take more time for our case than one day because I still had not testified. So they scheduled the next court date for the following Monday, July 20th. I was the only one left to testify so me and Drew stayed in Kentucky for the whole weekend while his parents left to go back to Arkansas. My attorney asked the judge if I could have some visitation with my kids over the weekend and he said YES!! I was SOOOO happy! We got to keep them pretty much ALL WEEKEND!!

We went to pick the kids up from my ex and the first thing we had to do was take my son to a baseball/birthday swimming party. I have to admit it was a litttle awkward for me and Drew because this was my son's baseball team and parents in which we knew NONE of because we were not there the entire ball season. Not because I didn't want to be there, it's just distance was an issue. But when we got there, everyone was staring at us like "Who are these people??" We just stood by ourselves for a while and felt really out of place. After an hour or so (I'm not really quick to warming up to people, I am VERY shy!) I FINALLY realized that the birthday boy's parents used to go to church with me!! So once I realized that, I started talking to them and things got better for me. I'm not sure Drew was ever comfortable as this is ALL very new to him. He has never really spent much time at all in Kentucky so therefore knows NO ONE! But we did talk and eat pizza and tried to be sociable. Around 8 pm, they decided to give the kids the birthday cake. AHEM, 8 pm, birthday cake!! Drew just looked at me like "Seriously? the kids are going to be bouncing off the walls!" HA! He was right. When we left the party we drove to my friends house where we were staying the night and the kids were pretty rowdy! I think they FINALLY fell asleep around 10 pm.

On Saturday, we got up, got cleaned up and took the kids bowling and to eat. We had to be at Braylee's t-ball trophy ceremony at 2 pm so we had to kind of hurry at the bowling alley. Her ceremony was short, but I was SOOOO glad to be there.

We had Awstyn's trophy ceremony at 10 pm the same night and it was SOOOO messy! After all the boys got their trophies, they were SUPPOSED to spray their COACH with shaving cream, but at the end of the night, I don't think there was a single parent that was clean. HA! I tried to stay clean since I was taking pictures and didn't want shaving cream all over my camera, but I still got creamed pretty good. With 3 kids covered in shaving cream, I should have KNOWN better! It was fun though. My ex and Drew even started playing around trying to get the other with the cream. LOL We were so late leaving the ball fields we decided to get a hotel room instead of driving the hour to my friends house. The kids fell asleep on the way there!

On Sunday, we went to the park and to the public pool. They had fun at the park on the playground but the pool wasn't a very big success as the girls couldn't leave the kiddie pool without an arm band that showed they could swim the width of the pool. They weren't impressed! LOL We stayed about an hour I guess and then decided to go back to the hotel to swim there with Drew's niece and nephew (pictured below on both ends), which he hasn't seen in a few years. It was fun and they all had a good time. Around 6 pm, it was time for the kids to go back to their dad's. It was tough to watch them leave once again, but I had SOO much fun with them that weekend!

Monday morning it was back to the courthouse to finish up the custody case. I was the only one left to testify so I was HOPING it wouldn't take all day. It took almost 4 HOURS for just my testimony. 4 HOURS!! I couldn't believe it. And even after all those hours, the judge STILL did not give us a ruling. He did however let me take the kids for 2 weeks back to Arkansas until August 3rd, which was when he was to give his final ruling. It is now August 15th, and we still haven't gotten a ruling. I'm getting a little upset about it as school is getting ready to start here and if they are going to be living with me during the school year, I need to be getting some things done! I am afraid he is going to wait too long and then my youngest will lose her spot in preschool that has been reserved for over a year! I don't guess there is really anything I can do about it though. All I can do is wait.

On another note, something else that has kept me busy for the last month, me and Drew got a new house!! Well, it's a mobile home, but it is still OUR home! We had to get something bigger that would accomodate both of us AND my 3 kids, so we upgraded from his 2 bedroom to a 3 bedroom!! It needed some work, but not a whole lot. So we have been working on that. More him than me because I am not good with a saw, but when it comes painting time, I will catch up! I will post pictures of it as we progress, but it will have to be in another post because this one is WAY too long! Sorry!!

Tuesday, July 14, 2009


MckLinky Blog Hop post for July 14th, 2009

1. I have 1 sibling, a sister. Her name is Heather and she is 4 years older than I.

2. I am a country music fan! I rarely listen to anything BUT country.

3. I have a very strong love/obsession with pit bulls. I know everyone thinks they are vicious killers, but I firmly believe it is all in how they are raised. I currently have 2 little bullies named Zeus and Apollo.

Thanks so much for stopping by and happy blog hopping everybody!!

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Monday, July 13, 2009

My Old Kentucky Home

Flag United States Kentucky

Custody court is now 4 days away and it's back to Kentucky I go. It feels like I have made a million trips back to Kentucky in the last 16 months. The trip is 5 hours long and it no longer seems that long. It's like it's just a hop, skip, and a jump away. But I am still dreading the trip back simply for the fact of the unknown. I have no clue what is going to happen in court and it is really scary for me. But at the same time, I can't wait to go back to my hometown and see all the buildings and people that are familiar to me.

I was looking online tonight at pictures of Kentucky in general and also pictures of Paducah, which is where I grew up. I guess you don't see the actual beauty of where you live until you aren't there anymore. Kentucky is a GORGEOUS state! Maybe it's just because it is my hometown, but maybe not. I thought I would add some pictures here to see what what my visitors think about it. Let me know if Kentucky is as beautiful to you as it is to me.

The Courthouse (where I will be on Friday):

The bridge going over the Ohio River (My future Mother In Law HATES going over this bridge, LOL):

This is the floodwall that was handpainted. It is truly a work of art:

These are some of the old buildings in Downtown Paducah:

And my all time favorite, the train. I remember playing inside acting like I was the conductor when I was little. It was SO much fun!:

These are just pictures of other places in Kentucky, not necessarily in Paducah, that I thought were pretty:

OK, sorry this post is such a long one. I just can't get over the beauty of "My Old Kentucky Home".

Thursday, July 9, 2009

Changes Coming Soon

I am SUPER excited!! A few days ago I entered a contest for a custom FREE blog header designed by Stepfanie and I received an e-mail just a few hours ago telling me I WON!!! I can't believe it!! I never win ANYTHING!! I can't wait to see what she can design for me. She is really good!

She is also running another contest for a custom bag that is super cute! You should go HERE and check it out. Maybe you will win it!! You better hurry though. It ends tomorrow!! Don't miss out!

There are some more changes that may be happening soon, but not in the blogger world. It's too early to say anything yet though. HA! I am going to leave you hanging for a little bit. I promise to fill you in as soon as I can. Trust me, I am DYING to spill the beans. I just have to wait a little bit longer. *sigh* Oh the joys of having an ex husband who is too caught up in your life to enjoy his own.

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Monday, July 6, 2009

MckLinky Blog Hop *Favorite Photo*

This is a picture of my daughter Zoe and my fiance's nephew, Dakota. Zoe and Dakota met in March of 2008 and became the best of friends. They did everything together. They were playing in the playroom so I decided to take a few pictures. I walked in, got a few shots of them rolling around on their cars and then they decided to go in for a sweet kiss. Hopefully in 2 weeks they will be reunited.

MckLinky Blog Hop

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

365 Days

It will be EXACTLY a year on July 17th, 2009 since I have had my children at home with me. Ironically, that is my new court date. It's only one more month, but how many times have I said "It won't be long now, only one more month!" only to find out that court has ONCE AGAIN been postponed. It seems like July 17th will never get here soon enough. I miss my babies! I have missed each one of their birthdays and EVERY holiday. One year of their lives that I can never get back. And for what? I have done NOTHING WRONG! One year of their lives down the drain because my ex husband is a liar and jealous maybe? Using our children to get to me? I really don't know what his reasons are. I just hope that after this court is over I won't have to worry about any of this anymore. My heart can't handle it. I love my babies too much to not be able to see them, to watch them grow and learn. It HURTS! And I am sure they blame me since I am the one that is not there, but the truth is none of this is my fault. I did what I felt was best for their well being and I would NEVER abandon them!! Maybe one day they will be able to see through their fathers lies and manipulating ways. Maybe one day they will understand that I wasn't the one at fault here and be able to forgive me for missing out on all of their ball games and birthday parties and Christmas morning. Just MAYBE they will forgive me.

Thursday, June 11, 2009

The "April Rose" Scam

I follow a few blogs. It's kind of an addiction really. I like to see how other moms do things and I like to get ideas for activities and dinners and whatever else I can find. It's kind of fun. I LOVE Jennifer's blog, aka MckMama, and have been following it for quite a while. Back in February I was lead to Angie's blog, Bring the Rain. I seriously spent two days reading her story from the beginning and crying and wanting to get to know this loving, sweet lady. I cannot imagine knowing the child you were carrying was not going to be yours for long and would return to the Heavenly Father. So I started reading more blogs about similar situations and mothers whose babies had been diagnosed in the womb with a terminal disease and the mothers chose to carry the baby for as long as they could. It was touching and thought-inducing and I cried a lot!

There was a blog about a 20 something year old woman who was pregnant with a baby, April Rose, that was diagnosed with full Trisomy 13, among other things. Doctors told her to terminate early but she refused, wanting to put it in God's hands. She had thousands upon thousands of readers. She was always talking about her Christian faith and love for God. She had T-shirts made for the cause and people bought them to wear proudly, all proceeds I assume going to April Rose. There were addresses for donations and gift cards, gifts, whatever else. Very sad stuff, her feelings all along were heartbreaking. Fast forward to a couple of days ago. April Rose was finally born, being 41 weeks, and was only 4lbs. Updates went on for about a day, but the details were a bit off. Things weren't adding up. People began questioning her and leaving comments, some quite nasty. Then there were posts about her heart rate declining and her breathing slowing. A pic was posted of April, then removed. A letter from the baby's daddy was posted saying things about how they are hurt that so many people would be so rude and that they were going to use the blog for updates only. Then the whole blog disappeared.

So come to find out it was all a hoax. Beccah Rose Beushausen, the "mom" made it all up in a shady way of getting people to send her money and whatever else, perhaps maybe she just needed attention. I guess that she had a website for her art that has since disappeared, as well as her twitter, facebook and myspace accounts. The picture she posted that was supposedly April Rose was actually a doll!

It just breaks my heart. I read her story and felt for her. But what really makes me upset is the fact that there are actually women who experience this kind of heartache and she preyed on that to earn their trust and then exploited it. Not to mention all the people who prayed for her and sent donations and kind gifts. She had us all fooled and it makes me so incredibly sad that this all went down. I actually feel really bad for this woman, she is obviously in need of some mental help and I hope that she is able to get the real help she needs.

I guess it just goes to show that you can't always believe what you read. We need to be careful who we trust. I know I will be more careful from now on, but I will NEVER stop praying for someone who asks for prayer!

Saturday, June 6, 2009

God's Plan

I had 2 days left until court. Just 2 more days until I could see my babies again. And this morning, I wake up to find a missed call from my attorney and a voicemail on my cell phone. I figured she had found something out on my ex husband that would maybe help me prove my case against him. Boy was I ever wrong!!!

It was a call to tell me that court has been postponed due to the sudden death of the judge's father. Now, like I said in my last post, I know I haven't said much about this on my blog, but let me just tell you why the LAST court date was postponed (it has been nearly a YEAR since this all started and it has been postponed SEVERAL times)! My attorneys mother passed away just 4 days before my court date! So when I heard this voicemail, my mouth just dropped! Are you serious?? I know it is not the judge's fault that this happened. It's no one's FAULT. But I do think it is part of God's Plan. I KNOW it is part of God's plan!! Healthy men don't just suddenly die for no reason. I don't know what God's reason behind it is and I won't ask why. It doesn't matter why. I fully believe that God is on a mission. For what? I don't know and don't need to know. I trust that He has everything under control and is going to do the right thing, no matter what the outcome is.

Friday, June 5, 2009

What's next?

OK, so it's been a while since my last posting. Not a whole lot has been happening in my life other than work. I work, sleep, work, sleep. That's pretty much been it since my last posting. But things are about to get exciting! Either in a good way, or possibly not so good. I'm not really sure yet.

On Monday, I have to go to court for the custody of my children. I don't think I have even mentioned on here what is going on with that, but it is a very complicated and messed up situation. Basically, I am having to fight a drug addict to get custody of my children and because he is a VERY GOOD liar, I just may lose my kids. Sounds crazy, right? I am still trying to grasp the whold concept myself. I have done nothing wrong to lose my children but I really have no way to PROVE that their father has either! So it could go either way. Only God knows what will happen and I have handed this over to Him to take care of for me. I fully trust and believe that he will make the right decision, even if it is NOT in my favor. I have to believe that this happened for a reason, even if I don't know what that reason is.

I would like to ask you to pray that God makes the right decision that is truly the best for my children, even if that means that they aren't with me. It will be hard on me, yes, but I only want what is best for them! That is all I have ever wanted! So if you could please pray for me and my children, it would mean more than you know!

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

I have done it AGAIN!!!!

This photo editing is FUN STUFF!! I got called in to work so I had 8 hours to devote to photo editing!! Here is my newest creation. This was made for my favorite mother in law and best friend, Anne.

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

I DID IT!!!!!

I have recently gotten really interested in photo editing (thanks to MIL) so I finally tried to do something myself instead of having other people do it for me. I found a really neat program online and I HAD to share my first piece of work. It's pretty simple, but I am proud of it. So, here it is!!!

Major Turn Around

OK, so yesterday I was blogging about being depressed and today, I am SUPER HAPPY!!! Sometimes I wonder about myself. LOL

I came in from work this morning around 5:30 and Drew asked me to snuggle with him for a while in his chair. I guess this just made my day!! I layed with him for a little while and couldn't quite get comfortable (2 people are not meant to sleep together in a recliner!!) so he tells me to go get in the bed and get some sleep. I did just that. I slept until 3 pm!! I didn't hear him tell me he was leaving for work or anything. I was OUT.

So when I got up, he calls and tells me he needs me to pick him up from work. ME?? You actually want ME to pick you up from work? OK!! This gets me super excited that he actually asked me to pick him up instead of asking his mom or dad. He NEVER asks me to do this kind of stuff for him. NEVER!! So all day I am ancy about going to get my man from work. I am talking, running through the house and singing and dancing, ancy. HA! I am sure you are picturing me running through the house and I am sure the cars driving by thought I was NUTS! Anyway he calls later and tells me I have to pick him up in Gould, which is like 45 minutes away. OK, I can do that too. When the time finally comes to go get him I FLY out the door. He told me how to get there, but if you know me, I am not the best at remembering the small details. I made it to Dumas with no problem. I go through there every time I go to KY, which in the past year has been a TON of trips to KY!! So I go through the red lights and to the Exxon station he told me about. I see the sign that says "Douglas" which is where he told me to turn. He told me to go down until I see an old car in the driveway and him in the shop. So I am driving down this road looking for an old car and a shop. Hmmmm, every where I look is old cars and it seems I am in the GHETTO!!! There were black folks walking the streets (this was after dark) and hollering as I drove (about 20 miles an hour) down the road. I tried calling him to see if I was heading in the right direction and of course he doesn't answer his phone!! So I say to myself "I'll go a little further to see if maybe I haven't gone far enough". HA I reach the end of the road. Not talking a dead end sign or anything. Its just road and then FIELD! What is up with that?! So I attempt to turn around (there are no driveways at this point) and end up in the ditch!! Oh crap!! And let me just mention here I am rolling on a donut!! HA! I was so afraid the black folks were gonna stop me, the little white girl in a mustang, and steal my donut, rape and murder me, and well I had many other things going through my head. So I finally get turned around and get the heck out of dodge!! I make it back to the main road and call him again. NO ANSWER. I texted him and told him to call me. So he FINALLY calls back and tells me I was supposed to take the 2ND road. OK. I turn on the next road, drive what seems FOREVER and FINALLY find him!! He hands me a drink and we pull out. I thought I would be so MAD by the time I got to him, but when he saw me and smiled, that was it!! All the anger and bad thoughts went away. We actually talked, sang and laughed all the way home. It's amazing how his smile can make my anger disappear! And he uses it to his advantage too. He makes me super happy. Now yesterday doesn't seem so bad. A wise woman once told me "Tomorrow will look better than today" and she was right. It always seems to work out that way for me. Who knew all it would take to turn me around was for my man to ask me to come get him from work!!

Sunday, February 22, 2009


Its back!! Sometimes I wonder if I will ever just be a happy person. Just when I think I can't be any happier, I hit these low spots. I am not talking just a few hours, it always ends up being DAYS that I just don't want to do anything or talk to anyone. I just want to crawl up in a hole and cry for hours and hours! It is really putting a toll on my relationship with Drew. I always end up taking it out on him and then we aren't "normal" for the next week or so. I don't know how to fix it. I want to be the best girlfriend I can be to him, but it's like it is not in me to do so. Is this possible? I don't want to cause him unhappiness. Should I let him go? I am not sure I could do that. I love him too much. I have tried to let him go several times and always end up right back where I started. Leaving is not the answer to my problems, but is it the answer to his happiness? I have no doubt he loves me, but does he love me enough to stick through my depression times? He has said before depression is all in my head. I think this is why I can't talk to him when I get depressed. He doesn't understand what it is like!! He is suppposed to be my best friend but yet I can't talk to him about my biggest problem. Is this a healthy relationship? Will it last a lifetime? I don't know the answer to this. I may not EVER know the answer to this. All I know is that I DO love him with all of my heart and I will just have to pray that God can help me overcome this.

Sunday, December 28, 2008

The birth of my blog

This is going to start off short and sweet. I want to get this blog up and running so that I can keep all of my family and friends updated on how things are going. For now, everything is going good, considering I have been without my children for 5 1/2 months. I was really dreading Christmas since it would be the first ever Christmas without my babies. However, it turned out to be an AWESOME Christmas!! Drew asked me to marry him!!!! To see him on one knee again, PRICELESS!!!!! I never expected him to do that again, at least not with me!! But he did. I absolutely can't wait to be married to the love of my life all over again!!!!!! No date as of now, but I will keep you posted!!

I will try to update this blog at least once a week so that you can keep up with my soap opera life.